Did you know that one out of every three women will be battered by the very person who tells her, “I love you?” How do you know if you, your friend or loved one will be one of these women? Identifying dangerous relationships is the key to getting out before they spiral out of control and is essential to avoiding other dangerous relationships. But, how do you know you are in a dangerous relationship?

By now most of you have heard of the new internet superhighway craze called blogging. If you are not the most computer savvy person in the world, don’t worry, you don’t have to be. Everyone is blogging these days from the techno-chic to the cyber-geek, from the carpooling soccer mom to your own children in grade school. For you first timers out there, a blog is a weblog. A weblog is an online diary or journal in which you may write your daily thoughts and ideas in. You can decide to keep a blog private, announce your name, let whoever you want read it or allow only particular people to view it. There are oodles of websites out there dedicated to servicing blogs and the majority of them are free. You just sign up and voila: you have your very own blog with your own web address where you can feel free to write whenever you want and as much as you want.

The unimaginable has happened; you are a widow or widower. Mourning your loss has been the focus of your life for the past year or two. Finally, as you begin to surface from your profound grief, with a deep breath and lot or a little trepidation you find yourself falling in love again. Is this new relationship fraught with landmines? You bet! Here are important stepping stones to help keep you afloat along the way, Do’s and Don’ts as it were for widows/widowers beginning a new, loving relationship.

Perhaps you joined a bereavement support group, progressed through the stages of loss and are doing pretty well. And then, surprise … you find yourself attracted to someone of the opposite sex. Not just someone to hear your grief, but someone who makes your heart quicken. What to do? What feels right? You are still grieving, but you’re attracted and you want to date, you’re also lonely and crave company. And yet, you feel guilty, disloyal to your late spouse.

IDEA # 81

Research your partner's favorite hobby and identify a gift that is really useful for her. The more specialized the gift the more impact it will have. Talk to her friends and family and use the Net to find the information you need.

IDEA # 82

Go to a masquerade ball. Send an invitation to your partner telling her to meet you at a specific spot at the stroke of eight. Wear a mask and when you meet her, don't say a word. Just take her hand and lead her on to the dance floor.

IDEA # 91

If you are artistically inclined, do a life drawing course, practice until you are confident and then ask your partner to pose for you.

IDEA # 92

Take your partner to a carnival or festival. Try the following:

(1) Food festival
(2) Jazz festival
(3) Wine festival
(4) Music festival

Robert consulted with me because his wife, Andrea, was no longer interested in having sex with him. “Andrea says she feels objectified when we make love, and I don’t know what that means,” he stated. “I love her and I don’t think I see her as an object.”

“Well, when you want to make love to her, why are you wanting to make love? What is motivating you?” I asked.

As we explored this question, it became apparent that Robert’s desire for Andrea was generally motivated, not only by his physical need for sex, but also by his need to be validated by her and to relieve his stress. No time in his discussion with me did he say he wanted to make love to her as an expression of his love for her. At no time did he state that there were many ways he enjoyed sharing his love with her, such as time together, sharing fun, affection, cuddling. His focus in being with Andrea was in having sex with her, and if she didn’t want to, he was generally angry or withdrawn. While he professed that he was expressing his love when I asked him about it, his behavior was anything but loving.

Research indicates that over 55% of married women are not interested in having sex with their husbands. In my 35 years of counseling couples, I’ve worked with many men who also are not interested in sex with their wives. The problem is generally not a lack of sexual desire - it’s that they are not interested in sex with their partner.

There is a very good reason for this.

Sexuality in long term relationships is the result of loving energy flowing between two people. If something is blocking this loving energy, the sexual energy between them often gets blocked as well.

There may be many reasons for loving and sexual energy being blocked, but the most common is what I call the “pull-resist relationship system.”

Here’s how it works:

The VAST majority of men who visit Russia that i’ve communicated with have a real issue on their hands when they arrive.

At first it seems AMUSING and even a delightful situation.. But it quickly creates HUGE problems for them.

Imagine travelling halfway around the world and walking into the ultimate car dealership with usually just enough money and time to FINALLY get your dream car.

The dealer has a very unique special.. Every super car in this showroom.. and there are hundreds to choose from.. all resides within the same price range that you can afford.

I think the biggest mistake that anyone can make with regard to relations with the Russian or CIS woman naively to look at it as just a "deal".

In fact, let me correct myself on that ..

Stupid thing that any person may make in respect of Russian women is to see them as finished goods, which has taken on a whim.

Now I know that none of our readers will think about these women in this regard ..

But it's still worth noting so that we all understand what is happening to our local supermarket to pick one of these special ladies is not an option.

Thus, you may be wondering what the real relationship with a Russian woman is all about.

Funny how some "important" things in life so quickly recede into the background when you find what you're always looking for.

In the case of this particular gentleman from India, of course, something hit him hard enough to change his life completely.

This is something that few of us out there can certainly relate to.

And although it with several challenges in the pursuit of his dream, I'm sure he and his lovely new family will pull through.

Because after all, what love really is.